okay ladies! here it is... THE STORY -- and a CRAZY one it is!


as of wednesday evening i knew the baby was sitting even lower because of even more intense pressure on my pelvic floor. after going out for a fabulous belated birthday dinner for paul, my bff and paul and i came home to settle in. i went to the restroom and felt a SERIOUS bulging, and when i put my hand down there to feel for what was going on, i noticed that my asshole was quite literally OUTSIDE of my ass! thinking this quite odd and probably not normal, i called my mom to ask her for advisement. "call your doctor, NOW!" so i called the after hours answering service, and the guy who took my message wanted me to tell him what was going on.

"um, it's pretty gross, and i'd rather not say," i told him.

"oh, don't worry, i've heard everything," he says. "what? are you spotting or something?"

"HAHAAH!! dude, that is SO not disgusting! all i can say is my butthole is no longer in my butthole."

"uhhhh... i'll relay the message to your doctor." [awkward laugh] *click*

a few minutes later one of the docs calls and tells me that she thinks i have a hemorrhoid. i laugh at her and tell her i think i know what a hemorrhoid is, and this definitely isn't that. she tells me she would have to take a look at it herself and asks me to make an appointment with her for the next day or friday. i told her i would just see the midwife the next day at my regular appointment. an hour or so later i started having strong contractions that were about 10 minutes apart and within a few hours were 5 minutes apart. as soon as i asked paul if we should head to the hospital, they stopped coming with any regularity, so i tried to get some sleep. i kept waking up to more contractions, but again, no regular pattern.

on thursday morning i had a massage appointment scheduled prior to my appointment with the midwife and before i headed out to that i had a round of contractions that were 2 minutes apart and strong but very short in duration. i decided to head into the city to get my massage and it was blissful. since my bff was hanging out with cookie at home, my mom met me at the doctor's office at 1pm. i told the midwife what had happened the night before and asked her to please strip my membranes if she could. the week before she couldn't even get to my cervix so i don't think she expected a lot of progress. as soon as she got in to check me her face looked stunned and she started to gasp.

"i can't believe this! oh my goodness! i can't believe this!" she kept repeating.

"WHAT?!" i asked, thinking that i had made no progress and would be heading home to play the waiting game once more.

"well... i don't believe this, but you are 6 centimeters dialated and your bag is BULGING. you are having this baby. i'm sending you over to the hospital NOW and please don't sneeze on your way over there!"

she told me that she was going to follow me over there and that she would break the bag and we'd have a baby lickety split. i needed to decide if i wanted to go natural or get an epidural. she told me to decide on my walk over to the hospital (which is right next door). i knew that i hadn't slept in days and that once the bag was broken my labor would go from 0-60 in a matter of minutes. at that point i was so exhausted that i decided to just get the meds since the baby was so close to delivery and the odds of any other interventions becoming necessary were slim to none. i was admitted at around 2pm and by 3.15pm i had a super low dose epidural -- i could feel my legs and my belly and only my bottom was slightly numb, which was PERFECT (i wanted to feel the contractions and the pressure/urge to push and not be completely numb).

unfortunately, my midwife got inundated and couldn't make it over to the hospital until after 5.30pm! she broke the bag at about 6 and the nurse said she'd see me in an hour. 10 minutes later i told paul i wanted to push. we called her, she came back to check me and couldn't believe that i was at 10cm, the baby was at +2 station and she had to get my midwife back RIGHT AWAY! i crossed my legs for 10 minutes, my midwife arrived and within 20 minutes of pushing, little darla was born. i pushed out her head and the contraction delivered the rest of her. i caught her and put her on my belly and she introduced herself by peeing all over me!!

it was a crazy crazy labor but so wonderful and peaceful and fun. i allowed a male nursing student to attend and it was his first birth. he was all abuzz from it, which was awesome....

we arrived home last night (24 hours after delivery we were discharged) and had a nice evening at home. cookie came home today and we are one big happy family.

welcome to the world darla jeanne -- born thursday, 3.13 at 6.40pm -- 5lbs 14 oz, 19.5in.

much love to all of you and thank you for your love and support.

xoxo
lola